Perhaps the mundane rhythm of it, or the constant upheaval of your life every weekend, or maybe even the non-ending question of where to eat?, or maybe it's everything that makes Kerteh bearable and unbearable at the same time.

Six months ago when I chose to embark on this journey of moving my life halfway across the peninsular I didn't think it would be a big deal. I started on November 18th, so it's 5 more days till my half year anniversary, crazy innit.

But it is a big deal. 

Being kind of close yet kind of far makes you want to travel back every weekend, yet the journey also wears you out. I've gotten to a point where door-to-door from my office in Kerteh to my house in KL on Thursday afternoons take me less than 3 hours. That will be 2 hours of 160km/hr on LPT, an okay speed on Karak for roughly half an hour, and then 15 minutes to tackle the MRR2 from Gombak all the way till home ground. The 2 hours are boring and makes you want to sleep, the Karak stretch is strenuous, despite having driven it both ways for more than 10 times now I'm still weary every time, of a sudden car spinning in front of me or surging past me or the downward slopes that never seem to end.

I do it because there's nothing in Kerteh to do. I do it because I miss my family and Seng Kiat. I do it because I miss food in KL. I do it simply to keep my sanity, let's put it this way.

I'm ever grateful to mum for sorting out my laundry situation every weekend. Ever grateful to my parents who are always there for me. Ever grateful to Seng Kiat who deals with this kind of long distance but not really. Ever grateful for being back at home.

This past weekend was Rice's commencement ceremony. Can't believe it's been a year since I ran down the bus in my full graduation gown with a bus full of black women cheering for me while I stripped my heels off and sped across the lawn, right in front of a bunch of professors because I was severely late for graduation.

It's too fast.